#hum

Some of the best friends we have are books. Why? Well, they belong usually to our relaxed armchair hours. They come only if chosen; hence they suit the mood or the taste, whether for humor, fantasy, adventure or mystery. In a trice they can take us with them to far places and other times. Best of all, they don't talk back or force themselves upon us, but, like patient, loving friends, wait until we give them our attention. And always, they are as near as our bookshelf when we need them. ↗

— Esther Baldwin York

#reading #humor

You must master the vices. You know that if a thing is worth doing it's worth doing well. If, however, a thing is not worth doing then it's worth doing fabulously, amazingly, with grace, style and panache. ↗

— Isla Dewar

#humor #humour #vice #humor

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse. ↗

— Michael Ian Black

#humor

Just because I don't deserve her doesn't mean I won't fight to keep her. ↗

— Elizabeth Hoyt

#love #humor

The only way I won't be re-elected is if I were found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. ↗

— Edwin Edwards

#politics-louisiana #humor

Hang up the phone on a vampire, the definition of carefree. ↗

— Steve Aylett

#life #love #weird #humor

You're arguing in a circle," I said. "In a spiral," said Lamiel, "which is the best way to argue. ↗

— Harry Blamires

#humor

A series of howls and war cries echoed through the camp....The werewolves and Japanese had attacked." -pg.353 Forbidden Nights with a Vampire Kerrelyn Sparks ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#paranormal-romance #humor

Rorshach's journal. October 16, 1985. Been waiting in Moloch's fridge for three hours. Ate two raw eggs and packet of honey mustard sauce. Just realized I am sitting on baking soda. Freezing ass off. Really have to take leak. ↗

— Alan Moore

#humor #rorshach #watchmen #humor

Ask not, what you must do for your computer. Fear instead, what your computer can do to you. ↗

— with apologies to John F. Kennedy

#disaster #humor #humor