#hum

They're spreading out. Look unaware and sweet and innocent. It's a little hard to look innocent when I'm as big as a house. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#pregnancy #humor

I'm going to be sick. I'm going to vomit that weird eggplant tapenade I had for dinner, and everyone will hear, and no one will invite me to watch the mimes escape from their invisible boxes, or whatever it is people do here in their spare time. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor

I'll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that's probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess. ↗

— Cassandra Duffy

#humor

The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#humor

Isabelle: "Do you want some soup?" Jace: "No" Isabelle: "Do you think Hodge would like some soup?" Jace: "No one wants any soup." Simon: "I would like some soup." Jace: "No you don't, you just want to sleep with Isabelle. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. ↗

— Leo Rosten

#inspirational #life #humor

American long for a closed society in which everything can be bought, where laborers are either hidden away or dressed up as nonhumans, so as not to be disconcerting. This place is called Disney World ↗

— Adam Gopnik

#disney-world #humor #humor

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

Which brings me to the question of why we always 'fall' in love. One falls down steps, off ladders, into rivers and down mountains. If love is so wonderful, why don't we soar in love or climb in love? ↗

— Judith McNaught

#love #humor

There will be days that you don’t want to dress up and if you have some decent looking athletic wear, you can give the illusion that you’ve just been working out, as opposed to giving up on life. ↗

— Big Mama

#humor #thebigmamablog #humor