#hum

Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but... ↗

— Kinky Friedman

#humor

Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#humor

Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba.... ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#humor

I wouldn't yell 'fire' at that slimeball if his ass was in flames. ↗

— Victoria Dahl

#romance #humor

My father always said that government is like watching another man piss in your boot. Someone feels better but it certainly isn't you. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#government #humor #humor

Hey, sexy. Why haven’t you called?” The cooing sound came from behind me, and I glanced back over my shoulder to see a familiar-looking brunette. “Because I’m the asshole who never calls,” I replied with a wink. ↗

— Abbi Glines

#humor

Gallowglass returned to Sporrengasse with two vampires and a pretzel. ↗

— Deborah Harkness

#you-had-to-be-there #humor

Never confuse honor with stupidity! ↗

— R.A. Salvatore

#humor #stupidity #humor

I'm Liam of Erinthia. I'm here to rescue you ... And You are not Cinderella. You are a tree branch wrapped in a sheet ↗

— Christopher Healy

#folklore #humor #prince-charming #humor

I chose the path less traveled but only because I was lost. Carry a map. - Phoebe Traeger ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#romance #humor