#hum

I love you.' 'Yeah, well...' 'You make my heart want to beat.' 'That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.' 'But my love for you is eternal.' 'That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #death

I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#enemies #flavia-de-luce #humor #intelligence #sarcasm

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? ↗

— George Carlin

#funny-but-true #humor #death

You see... I'm holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?" "Pathetic," he told George. "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go with holey? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #puns #twins #death

Nuala, can we just have, like, a cease-fire? I mean, you can go back to calling me an ass and trying to lure me to my death tomorrow and I'll go back to treating you like a psychotic bitch and researching ways to exorcise you in the morning, but seriously, can we just have a cease-fire for tonight? ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#death

Misa: I can't even imagine a world without light! L: Well yes, that would be quite dark. ↗

— Takeshi Obata

#humor #l #misa #death

Didn't people consider what could happen if armies of farm animals united in revolt? ↗

— J.D. Robb

#farm-animals #humor #revolt #death

And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

The humble listen to their brothers and sisters because they assume they have something to learn. They are open to correction, and they become wiser through it. ↗

— Thomas Dubay

#listening #humility