#hum

When you have been killed as many times as I have, you get used to it. ↗

— Peter Sellers

#panther #peter #pink #sellers #humor

All of them are the same type; girls with overprocessed hair and too much makeup and way too much access to Daddy’s credit cards. Girls who, if you took away the designer labels, hair dye and cover-up, wouldn’t be more than average-looking, but with all that stuff look too plastic to be pretty. ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#face #fact #funny #girls #humor

I can't go back because I lost all my Soul Reaper powers! - Rukia You lost your powers? What are they, socks? - Ichigo ↗

— Tite Kubo

#humor #humor

Qualities of a Good Nurse: Go," I said. "1. Doesn't pun on your disability," Isaac said. "2. Gets blood on the first try," I said. "Seriously, that is huge. I mean is this my freaking arm or a dartboard? 3. No condescending voice." "How are you doing, sweetie?" I asked, cloying. "I'm going to stick you with a needle now. There might be a little ouchie." "Is my wittle fuffywump sickywicky?" he answered. "Most of them are good, actually. I just want to get the hell out of this place. ↗

— John Green

#illness #lists #nurses #humor

There's more than one way to skin a cat, my father used to say; it bothered me, I didn't see why they would want to skin a cat even one way. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humor #method #wisdom #humor

You spit in this?" "Yup." Chris shrugged. "As long as you're honest. ↗

— R.L. Mathewson

#humor

You make me sound like an arrogant ass," he said. "Are you?" "No! I'm just me. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#dragon #funny #humor #funny

In a low whisper she was certain only her friend could hear, she said, "I specifically remember we both promised never to drink from any man's goblet of wine. From the looks of you, Frances Catherine, I'm thinking you broke your word. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor

When there's a monster under your bed sometimes it really is best not to look. ↗

— Jocelynn Drake

#asylum-tales #humor #ignorance #philosophical #thoughts

I am to be converted to the joys of knitting,' said Mrs. Ali, smiling at the Major. 'My condolences,' he said. ↗

— Helen Simonson

#knitting #humor