#hum

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#imogen-herondale #impudence #jace-wayland #obedience #rebelliousness

I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh. ↗

— Maya Angelou

#sense-of-humor #humor

Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jocelyn-fray #simon-lewis #humor

You forget, darling. I am the local psychopath. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

If you want some advice—which I'm sure you don't—you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks you're moving in on Lissa." "What?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Doesn't he know my heart belongs to you?" "It does not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've told him." "You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better." "If you touch me," I said pleasantly, "I'll provide you with the opportunity to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd see how badass you really are. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#love #threats #humor

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

So it's true. You can walk in sunlight. I thought perhaps it might have worn off." "If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

What happened to your tan?"--Fang "It was dirt." --Max ↗

— James Patterson

#maxride #humor

Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well. ↗

— John Green

#humor #humor

Don't look at me in that tone of voice. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor