#hum

If you never stepped on anybody's toes, you never been for a walk. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#tact #humor

Anything that doesn't take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing. ↗

— Cormac McCarthy

#life #humor

Use your head, Sep. Loads of wolverines. Hanging around waiting for super. Gtting excited. eating mint blasts. so what do you think they do?' it must be here. they can't have eaten that... i dunno, Nik, what do they do?' POO. ↗

— Angie Sage

#humor

He probably would've raised an eyebrow in that annoying/hot way he had, and made a dirty joke about Elodie possessing me. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#dirty #elodie #hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you Saying, 'Damn. We fucked up. ↗

— Cheyenne McCray

#demons-not-included #humor #humor

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #shoes #humor

You drink from a rabbit and you think i smell? ↗

— Veronica Rossi

#humor

You totally just outed us to the criminals. -Ty to Zane ↗

— Abigail Roux

#ty #zane #humor

What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor #humor

Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own... ↗

— Tom Waits

#marrige #weddings #humor