#hum

They came out in a dim, damp basement - a generic sort of place, full of moulding boxes. 'You take me to the nicest places,' Claire said, and sneezed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#claire-danvers #funny #humor #myrnin #rachel-caine

The crowd quieted as a whole, but more than one creature cursed under his breath, "Not Regin." A drunk hunched over the bar muttered, "That glowing one made me eat a transistor radio once. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#funny

Say, ‘Thank you, Phin.’ ” “Oh, please.” “Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. ” “I don’t think so.” “Say, ‘You are a great lover, Phin.’ ” “I’m out of here. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humour #funny

The plot arc of a porno is like a breast: a good one should be flat-chested. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #plotting #pornography #funny

You’re not the only one in this relationship who loves a challenge,” he says. “And just so you know for the future, I like my double-chocolate chip cookies warm and soft in the middle . . . and without magnets glued to them. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#conversation #funny #humor #kiara-westford #funny

I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #relationships #retaliation #revenge

Siamese twins have it great because one can jack off while the other talks dirty. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

Liver failure is the easiest way to say 'no' to alcohol. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

No, no. Don't make that face. Every time I propose to you, you make that twisty, unhappy face. It wears on a man's confidence. ↗