#hum

I believe my life has a value, and i don't want to waste it thinking about clothing. I don't want to think about what i will wear in the morning. Truly, can you imagine anything more boring than fashion? ↗

— Michael Crichton

#boring #clothes #fashion #humor #rant

He was through playing games. When it cam to Soteria he had no sense of humor what so ever. Anyone who threatened her ended their own life. For her, he'd do anything even end the world. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor

That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy." Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things." But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror." I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?" Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#horror-movies #humor #killers #stupidity #humor

V shook his head. “Remember what you saw in that clearing, cop? How’d you like that anywhere near a female you loved?” Butch put down the Bud without drinking from it. His eyes traveled over Rhage’s body. “We’re going to need a shitload of steel,” the human muttered. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #paranormal #rhage #romance #vampire

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons. ↗

— Douglas MacArthur

#military #humor

Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good? ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #humor

Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing-- turn your toes out when you walk--- And remember who you are! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#alice-in-wonderland #french #humor #lewis-carroll #remember

I want to read the employment section of the Bible. I think it’s simply called Job. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#employment #hilarious #humor #jarod-kintz #job

Xander: To read makes our speaking English good. ↗

— Ashley Gable

#grammar-humor #humor #language #humor

I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #pessimism #humor