#hum

You came after me. Against the geas, you came after me.” He felt the shifting of muscle behind him as Bloodraven shrugged. “You ride like a pregnant woman. I feared for the horse. ↗

— P.L. Nunn

#humor

Women. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction. ↗

— William Faulkner

#writers #humor

I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they? ↗

— Matt Groening

#humor

James Carstairs! Jem! Where are you, you disloyal bastard? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #humor

Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out? ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #humor

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blot-out #cloud #funny #humor

Err, sorry Father Abbot. I tripped y'see. Trod on my Abbot, Father Habit. Oh dear, I mean.... ↗