#hum

Do you have anything to declare?' the statue asked me. 'Yes. I do have something to declare.' I said. 'I declare this is [dumb] ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

It's only hard until it becomes easy. ↗

— David A. Smith

#wisdom #humor

Carrie Fay always says that nothing is really horrible unless it eats away your face. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#humor

Reading every day keeps the brain dead sickness away. ↗

— Kristy Pellegrin

#reading #humor

Oh, you know what bloggers are like, they write and write and write. I don't know why, because they're not being paid. ↗

— Jon Ronson

#psychology #psycopaths #humor

It is you!" the man exclaimed. "We thought you weren't coming for another week!" "Ashe," Sarene mumbled, "who is this lunatic and what does he want with me? ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's fun and games you can't see anymore. ↗

— James Hetfield

#humour #metallica #humor

He leaned close, rubbing his bearded cheek against my ear. 'And how about a sweet kiss, now, for the brave lads of the clan MacKenzie? Tulach Ard!' Erin go bragh,' I said rudely, and pushed with all my strength. ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#outlander #humor

The prettier the wine bottle, the higher the likelihood sorority girls will buy it. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#humor #sorority #humor

Um . . . guys? If I, say, noticed a crack in a wall in a tunnel and a cold, creepy draft came out of it and it smelled like three-day-old lasagna, would you, um, want to know about that?” Murdock and I exchanged glances. “You invited him,” I said. “Show us the crack, Joe,” Murdock said. Joe turned around and lowered his loincloth. ↗

— Mark Del Franco

#humor