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#hum

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #hum




Getting cut off from the knights' magic rock also required a period of exile from their giant glass mushroom. (Those of you in the Hushlands, I dare you to work that last sentence into a conversation. "By the way, Sally, did you know that getting cut off from the knights' magic rock also requires a period of exile from their giant glass muchroom?") ↗


— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz versus the Knights of Crystallia)


#humor

Ed felt faint. Milk shake, as it turned out, was much less handy in your veins then, say, oxygen. ↗


— Francine Pascal


#milkshakes #oxygen #veins #humor

A bell, though -- that's fucked up. ↗


— David Sedaris


#humor #humor

The performance was exotic. It was short. And it wasn't much more dreadful than the Chinese opera that had been performed last year. "Bravo!" Ned called. He applauded madly. Thankfully, everyone joined in. Blakely bowed, rather stiffly, and picked his way through the rows toward his seat. He didn't even make eye contact with Ned, didn't acknowledge that Ned had just saved him. Ha, Just because Blakely had no humility didn't mean Ned couldn't try to humiliate him further. "Encore!" Ned shouted. Blakely fixed Ned with a look that promised eventual dismemberment. Luckily for the future attachment of Ned's limbs, nobody else took up the cry. ↗


— Courtney Milan


#humor #performance #humor

I like pancakes! And I have a gun. I shoot bad guys with it. Sometimes, bad guys go to sleep and don't wake up. That makes Harley sad. ↗


— Stephen Jenner


#humor #twilight #twilite #humor

Hiking is sort of like strip poker: by the end, all the participants are hot, sweaty, and nearly naked, and the winner is the person who wore the most layers. ↗


— Winona Dimeo-Ediger


#humor #humor

Without the door let sorrow lie, And if for cold it hap to die, We'll bury 't in a Christmas pie, And evermore be merry. ↗


— George Wither


#humor #merriment #wassail #humor

Murdering anything is just plain criminal, but a Southerner murdering a magnolia? Well, that's an unforgivable sacrilege against nautre and the South. ↗


— Beth Hoffman


#humor

The best fiction is true. ↗


— Kinky Friedman


#humor #on-fiction #truth #humor

The day my child tries a celery is the most stressful day of my life. ↗


— Ariana Grande


#funny #humor #laugh #funny






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