#hum

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

It's just another of Robin's sayings. Like, 'Holy strawberries, Batman, we're in a jam! Or, Holy Kleenex, Batman, it was right under our nose and we blew it! ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dani-o-malley #humor #humor

Sorry I painted the word 'twat' on your garage door. ↗

— David Shrigley

#humor #regret #shrigley #vandalism #humor

You know, 'help me, Sophie Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#spellbound #humor

A tall, thin boy with choppy black hair stood next to her. He eyed Isobel as she approached, sizing her up, grinning like he found something funny. She glared at him in return, ready for him to say just one thing about her cheer uniform, because she knew he must have pulled the black jeans he wore straight from the girls' rack at Target. ↗

— Kelly Creagh

#funny

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her eighteenth birthday, you can get out of bed. ↗

— E. Jean Carroll

#humor

Moths? You're afraid of MOTHS?" Will asked incredulously. "Yeah, so what? They're all papery and their wings are all gross! They're just..Uckkk!" Christina defended with a shudder. "Terrifying," Will agreed with mock seriousness."That's my girl, tough as cotton balls!" "Oh shut up!" Christina shrieked, slapping Will on the arm. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#humor

Twat is twat and that is that. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.'-Jace 'Just break the door down, will you?'-Clary ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #flirting #humor #jace-wayland #humor

Si vas a volverte loco, vuelve te solo ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#humor