#hum

On being told he is "disgustingly drunk".. "My dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor

He was trying to conjure up a succubus." It should be impossible to leer when all you've got is a beak, but the parrot managed it. "That's a female demon what comes in the night and makes mad passionate wossn-" "I've heard of them," said Rincewind. "Bloody dangerous things." The parrot put its head on one side. "It never worked. All he ever got was a neuralger." "What's that?" "It's a demon that comes and has a headache at you. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#discworld #humor #humor

The very best people are like that. They don't entangle you like flypaper. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#relationships #humor

THREE DAYS AND twelve psychics later, Katie and Jorlan had developed a routine. Morning: jog, visit psychics. Afternoon: work at the Victorian. Evening: talk, watch television. Twilight: sleep apart and fantasize. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor

What's it like?" "Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans. ↗

— Rob Grant

#germans #humor #red-dwarf #death

كلما ألاقي الدنيا تحلوّ ف عيني .. النظارة تتكسر ! ↗

— أحمد عمارة

#humor

In my opinion, too much attention to weather makes for instability of character. ↗

— Elizabeth Goudge

#humor #weather #humor

He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own. ↗