#hum

Dr. Horrible: And by the way it's not about making money, it's about taking money. Destroying the status quo because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#humor #status-quo #wit #world-domination #humor

Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled. I'd finally found something Eric did poorly. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #vampires #humor

I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#humour #misanthropy #humor

In life you'll meet a lot of jerks. If they hurt you, tell yourself that it's because they're stupid. That will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. Because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance... Always keep your dignity and be true to yourself. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#memoir #young_adult #humor

How could I be sleeping with this particular man.... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#love #relationships #humor

Because teachers, no matter how kind, no matter how friendly, are sadistic and evil to the core. ↗

— Heather Brewer

#teachers #humor

Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ - one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn't a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #humor

Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet. "I'm dying of boredom," Howl said pathetically. "Or maybe just dying. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#howl-pendragon #humor #insuferable #lazy #sophie-hatter

Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him? ↗

— Bill Watterson

#hobbes #humor #puddle #reflection #humor