#hum

You know what happens when you get out of the Marine Corps," Person continues. "you get you brains back. ↗

— Evan Wright

#humor

My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday." "Ian," Wesley noted, "that covers the whole week." Ian nods his head. "Pretty much. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humor

People who try to pretend they're superior make it so much harder for those of us who really are. ↗

— Hyacinth Bucket

#comedy #humor #humor

So you're the guy who did the no-no cha-cha with my baby sister. ↗

— Lish McBride

#sean-blackthorn #sex #siblings #humor

There’s nothing nine-tenths about me as a person. I’m a 100% kind of guy, at least half the time.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor

Michael nodded tersely, eyeing a table across the room. It was empty. So empty. So joyfully, blessedly empty. He could picture himself a very happy man at that table. "Not feeling very conversational this evening, are we?" Colin asked, breaking into his (admittedly tame) fantasies. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #romance #humor

Shep claimed eating cake like that so early in the morning was a 'whore's breakfast.' The rest of them didn't care. They were happy little whores who didn't worry about saving a morsel. ↗

— Rebecca Wells

#humor

Safari, so goody. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor #pun #humor

Wonder of wonders, the box had Elvis. Immediately the bar seemed a better place. She fed in coins and then punched the keys for "Hound Dog." Too bad Elvis had never recorded one called "Dickhead. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor #humor

Bryan Lee O'Malley has been alive since he was born and will lives until he dies. ↗

— Bryan Lee O'Malley

#humor