#hum

You're in a rather odd mood today." I'm soaking wet, Eloise." No need to snap at me about it, I didn't force you to walk across town in the rain." It wasn't raining when I left,". There was something about a sibling that brought out the eight-year-old in a body. I'm sure the sky was gray," Clearly, she had a bit of the eight-year-old in her as well. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #funny

A gypsy girl approached Don Zana and Alfanhui and held out her tambourine. Don Zana said to her, 'You don't pay for art, kid. ↗

— Rafael Sánchez Ferlosio

#cheek #donation #humor #art

These tears are proof that there is love in the world. Tears are only bitter when we cry selfishly for ourselves. When we deny and forget the sweet love that tears are made of. When we let sorrow turn to anger. When people cry for each other, it is a good thing. Always remember that you are a human being, connected to all other human beings. When you cry for others you are opening your heart to God, who must see what we do and weep for us, too, for the suffering we cause to one another and to ourselves. ↗

— Nafisa Haji

#inspirational #love #tears #anger

My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#dead-people #funny-humor #funny

What happened?" he asked brusquely, interrupting me. "What do you mean, what happened?" "I sensed your fear, heard you call out my name." "I...no, I didn't." Stone Wall, I told myself. Great Wall of China, around my thoughts. "The Great Wall of China isn't going to do it, Violet. Come on, tell me what happened. ↗

— Kristi Cook

#funny #haven #humour #violet #winterhaven

There are no wrong answers; there are only right questions with no answers. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #questions #funny

Seth rolled his eyes. “Because you’re such a ladies man.” “I can be. I just have standards, is all. I’m very selective about who I choose to spend time with, whereas you’ll fuck anything that moves. And several things that don’t. ↗

— Elle Parker

#fuck #funny-humor #seth #funny

My voyeur stops paying attention to me the moment I stop having sex, but my stalker is more dependable. He’s more interested in my life as a whole, and that’s why I'm going to spend the rest of it with him. As for my voyeur, I want to turn down his marriage proposal, but I know he’ll just be there on my wedding night anyway. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #love #marriage #stalker #voyeurism

What are you doing here?” All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. “Taxidermy?” he responded with just a touch of his own sarcasm. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #funny

Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on the slick ground reverberated in his gut. He wanted to turn around and tell her to shut the hell up. She sounded as though she was having sex. Good sex. ↗

— Cherry Adair

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny