#hum

Genius is of small use to a woman who does not know how to do her hair. ↗

— Edith Wharton

#humor

Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex. ↗

— Frank Zappa

#humor

I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#thomas-raith #vanity #humor

No witch has ever claimed to own the Elder Wand. Make of that what you will. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

Great. I'd been dumped in Hell's waiting room. ↗

— Karen Chance

#fiction #humor #romance #supernatural #humor

The society killed Kendra." ... Don't mention it to Verl. He might dive into a chasm. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#fablehaven #humor #kendra #love #mull

Never trust a man with a penis. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor-inspirational #humor

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times. ↗

— Mark Twain

#politics #humor

I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor