#hum

Okay you guys, pair up in threes! ↗

— Yogi Berra

#humor #humor

Also, I think I felt something come loose back there. I'm not trying to overreact or anything but I think it was my uterus. Honest. I think my uterus jiggled free. My uterus is just going to come out between my legs and I'm going to look like I'm walking around with an enormous load in my pants. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

I knew it!" He pumps a fist into the air. "You've fallen in love with me. You want to have my babies. We'll get a team of horses and a covered wagon and we'll journey to South America and raise goats. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#humor

Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins. ↗

— Jennifer Egan

#humor

Jessica, you are a pain in the arse, do you know that? If I were not so immensely fond of you, I should throw you out the window." She wrapped her arms about his waist and laid her head against his chest. "Not merely 'fond,' but 'immensely fond.' Oh Dain, I do believe I shall swoon." "Not now," he said crossly. "I haven't time to pick you up. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

Once I got home, though, and saw several packages on my front porch, all the crap from the day disappeared. A few had smiley faces on them. Squealing, I grabbed the boxes. Books were inside-- new release books I'd preordered weeks ago. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humorous #humor

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #nature #humor

We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?" "What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?" "What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-wayland #simon-lewis #humor

You can knock on a deaf man's door forever. ↗

— Nikos Kazantzakis

#humor

Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier." Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #sydney-sage #humor