#hum

Christy: "My grandma made this. I've had it since elementary school." Todd: "I never knew that." Christy: "I never knew you left your towel on the floor." Todd: "Uh-oh. Is this one of those issues they talked about in our premarital counseling? Should I hang up towels so you feel more loved? ↗

— Robin Jones Gunn

#christy-miller #humor #todd #humor

I fear the day technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots. ↗

— Albert Einstein

#idiots #humor

Lord help the female population if Kellan and I have a boy one day. ↗

— S.C. Stephens

#kellan-kyle #kiera #love #humor

Warm-hearted! I should think he has to wear asbestos vests! ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor

You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last present you gave me was a stick.” “You wanted a weapon.” “It was a stick.” “It had a bow on it.” “It was a stick.” “I thought you liked the stick. You laughed. ↗

— Derek Landy

#presents #skulduggery-pleasant #stick #valkyrie-cain #weapon

. . I tell you Dain is a splendid catch. I advise you to set your hooks and reel him in.” Jessica took a long swallow of her cognac. “This is not a trout, Genevieve. This is a great, hungry shark.” “Then use a harpoon. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed! ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#language #humor

I'm not even supposed to be here today. ↗

— Kevin Smith

#humor

She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#writer #humor

I think this man might actually possess supernatural powers. He makes people lose their minds and I’m sure some of them do lose bladder control as well." "I see. And who is this author" "Neil Fucking Gaiman." "His second name is Fucking?" "No Leif that’s the honorary second name all celebrities are given by their fans. It’s not an insult it’s a huge compliment and he’s earned it. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#humor