#hum

Sometimes in life, you just have to bend over. ↗

— Jeri Estes

#humor

Cara waggled a hand over the two of them. "It works better with your clothes off." Richard frowned. His voice came as a hoarse croak. "What?" She seemed mystified by the question. "I believe you will find such things work better without clothes." She put her hands to her hips. "I thought you would know at least that much. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#clothes #humor #kahlan #richard #sex

Cara burst into a hearty laugh. She clapped Richard on the back as he walked passed. "I like her, Lord Rahl. You may keep her. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#humor #kahlan #richard #humor

If everyone wants to be somebody, I want to be somebody else ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #humor

Ever since the robot was first invented, there have been people who swear up and down that this marks the first step towards the fall of man … To be fair, their arguments are backed with scientific fact taken from documentary films such as The Terminator, The Matrix, and RoboCop. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny

FINALLY she had convinced him that she would still respect him in the morning. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

She like imaginary men best of all. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

Finally, I found what seemed at the time to be a lid of some sort. Presuming it was a toilet seat (but not really caring one way or the other) I lifted it up, then dropped my shorts and began to piss. Ahhh...success. Then I stumbled back to bed and passed out. It wasn't until the next morning that I realized what had actually happened. I woke to the sight of Junior standing over my bed with a look of disgust on his face. "Hey, man. Did you pee in my suitcase? ↗

— Dave Mustaine

#humor #megadeth #humor

Oh my!! How you've grown. Soon you'll be catching the Lord's balls. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#humor #memoir #young_adult #humor

Wake me up when everything is organized. ↗

— Jane Seabrook

#inspirational #humor