#hum

I know it’s not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig!" "My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow…" "Is that so? Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#men

Bluebell had been saying that he knew the men hated us for raiding their crops and gardens, and Toadflax answered, 'That wasn't why they destroyed the warren. It was just because we were in their way. They killed us to suit themselves. ↗

— Richard Adams

#evil #human-cruelty #men

Women treat us [men] like humanity treats gods – they worship us and keep bothering us to do something. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humour #mythology #men

Writing is a lot like sex: at first you do it because you enjoy it. Then you find yourself doing it with others. But if you're any good at all, you end up doing it for less money than it's worth. ↗

— Michael Goulding

#inspirational

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend ↗

— Greg Behrendt

#relationships #self-help #humor

To cheapen the lives of any group of men, cheapens the lives of all men, even our own. This is a law of human psychology, or human nature. And it will not be repealed by our wishes, nor will it be merciful to our blindness. ↗

— William Pickens

#human-rights #racism #truth #men

I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.” He raises an eyebrow. “I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.” “Have you ever tasted...white tea, Anna? ↗

— Andrew Shaffer

#men

Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#humor #india #travel #humor

The lion has to stay outside" "He won't like it" The lion shook his mane. I looked at Curran. The lion melted. Skin stretched, bones twisted, and human Curran straightened. He was completely nude. Gloriously nude. "Well," Hrefna said. "I always wondered why you went all shapeshifter. Explain things. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#sexy-men #humor

If after hearing my songs just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or perhaps to strike a loved one it will all have been worth the while. ↗

— Tom Lehrer

#politics #science #song #inspirational