#hum

Holy crap! Your story was so long I forgot the beginning! - Ichigo Kurosaki ↗

— Tite Kubo

#death

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #wit #faith

Is the groom going to go where no man has gone before? ↗

— Sharyn McCrumb

#star-trek #death

You're a very difficult person to manipulate, you know." "Nonsense," he said. "You just have to promise me that I won't have to do a thing, and then I'll do anything you want." "Anything?" "Anything that doesn't require doing anything." "That's nothing, then." "Is it?" "Yes." "Well, that's something. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

Did you ever, think when the hearse passes by, that someday in it you will lie? ↗

— Kelly Braffet

#humor #last-seen-leaving #death

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ↗

— Steven Wright

#self-improvement #humor

I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword." She raised an eyebrow. "Sharp as hell," Lightsong said, "but lacking a point. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #humor

The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users. ↗

— Devon Monk

#death

[Like they say,] small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. ↗

— Dave Courtney

#death

[Jules] slides into a seat beside me with her hot lunch tray, sighing. “Four hours, thirty-six minutes, and twelve seconds till we’re out of purgatory for the weekend.” “Maybe later,” I murmur, still distracted by the day’s previous events. “So, let me show you how a conversation works. I say something, and then you say something back that actually relates to what I was talking about, as if you were even the least bit interested.” “Huh?” I say. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#conversation #delilah-mcphee #humor #jules #paying-attention