#hum

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor #laughter #humor

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. ↗

— Mark Twain

#bankers #humor #humor

You are speaking of my future lover. Be more respectful. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #romance #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #humor

Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression. "Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #humor #simon-lewis #humor

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #memory #humor

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ↗

— Mark Twain

#success #humor

Ask me if I sparkle and I’ll kill you where you stand.” (Bones) ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor

Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink. ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#making-do #humor

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor