#humor

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor

Drop something?" he asked, trying to suppress a smile but failing miserably at the act. I nodded and smiled back at him sheepishly, unable to find my voice to respond in any other way. "Interested in locks, I see," he commented. I nodded again. "Well, here you go," he said, and he handed the book to me. I nodded. Oh crap, why did I just nod? Take the book! I screamed inside my head. Take it! I took it slowly. He kept looking at me, smiling. ↗

— Markelle Grabo

#humor #love #nerves #humor

It’s fifteen minutes until two when I arrive – just in time for the interview. I walk through the glass doors and into the lobby, which is also floor-to-ceiling glass and steel. This fascinates me, because buildings back in Portland are made of grass and mud. ↗

— Andrew Shaffer

#humor

There have been better attempts at marching, and they have been made by penguins. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#marching #humor

Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

My Hallway" remarked Lord Akeldama,"Has never seen such lively action. And That, my sugarplums, is saying something! ↗

— Gail Carriger

#hyperbole #humor

Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire. ↗

— Danielle Sibarium

#safety #humor

Oh yes, I have learned much from Tremorlor, and so assume a like strategy. Silence, a faint mocking smile suggesting I know more than I do, an air of mystery, yes, and fell knowledge. None could guess my confusion, my host of deluded illusions and elusive delusions! ↗

— Steven Erikson

#humor

أحب الكتب أكثر من الأفلام. فالأفلام تخبرك ما تفكر به. أما الكتاب الجيد يدعك تختار أفكارك بنفسك. في الأفلام تشاهد بيتا باللون الأحمر. في الكتاب، يقول لك هناك بيت أحمر، ويتركك تضع التفاصيل، تختار تصميم السقف، تركن سيارتك أمامه...الخ خيالي دائما ما يتفوق على كل جديد تأتي به الأفلام ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #movies #reading #humor

Turns out that once you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life policies. Charlatan's with "godproof" armor and extraplanar safe houses for rent. But most notably, other gods... ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#good-humor #hyperbole #humor