#humor

By now, I should have learned that luck, if she was a lady, was a mean-spirited bitch with a grudge against me. ↗

— Jaye Wells

#humor

If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

Even geniuses could get things wrong-look at Einstein's unfortunate choice of a hairdresser. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#humor #wrongness #humor

I wonder how Admat can be everywhere. Is he in my sandal? Or is he my sandal itself? Why would a god bother to be a sandal? Does he wear shoes or sandals himself, invisible ones? ↗

— Gail Carson Levine

#humor #sandals #humor

One day I will rule the world with a goat by my side! ↗

— Jhonen Vasquez

#humor

You know how people are always threatenin' to shove this or that up someone's ass, but they never really do it? Well, now there's a new story gonna be told 'round the fire: 'How Coyote Shoved An Arrow Up A Fallen Angel's Ass. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#humor

Do you have anything to declare?' the statue asked me. 'Yes. I do have something to declare.' I said. 'I declare this is [dumb] ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

It's only hard until it becomes easy. ↗

— David A. Smith

#wisdom #humor

Carrie Fay always says that nothing is really horrible unless it eats away your face. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#humor

Reading every day keeps the brain dead sickness away. ↗