#humor

I'm sure I'll feel much more grateful when I find a guy who thinks complex wiring in a girl is a turn-on. ↗

— Marissa Meyer

#cyborg #girl #humor #marissa-meyer #humor

You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up. ↗

— Ally Carter

#humor

Housework can kill you if done right. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#housekeeping #humor #humor

There's only one sort of natural blonde on earth - albinos. ↗

— Marilyn Monroe

#humor

Your as slow as a fat kid on crutches ↗

— P.C. Cast

#humor

If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you. ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #humor #humor

He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor

I read the fuck out of every book I can get my hands on. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#humor #reading #humor

Gene police! You! Out of the pool, now! ↗

— Charles Stross

#humor

So." [Isobel] cleared her throat. "What are we doing?" "We," [Varen] said at last, "are doing a project on Poe." "Didn't he marry his cousin or something?" "The man is a literary god and that's all you have to say? ↗

— Kelly Creagh

#isobel #nevermore #varen #humor