#humor

If a human female was going to defeat a male alpha werewolf, there was only so many thing she could do to accomplish that feat. All of them were batshit. ↗

— Heather Killough-Walden

#lily #humor

There's nothing more aggravating in the world than the midnight sniffling of the person you've decided to hate. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #truth #humor

Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#entertainment #humor #humorous #humor

He was used to being playful with women, teasing while keeping ultimate control. With Luna, he felt like a berserk marauder. He couldn't even spell control, much less utilize it. ↗

— Lori Foster

#humor

I am his Highness' dog at Kew; Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you? ↗

— Alexander Pope

#humor #subservience #humor

I found that things weren't going well upstairs. Carter was a crumpled heap of chicken warrior on the slope of the pyramid. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #sadie #humor

There were lot of fools at the conference – pompous fools – and pompous fools drive me up the wall. Ordinary fools are alright; you can talk to them and try to help them out. But pompous fools – guys who are fools and covering it all over and impressing people as to how wonderful they are with all this hocus pocus – THAT, I CANNOT STAND! An ordinary fool isn’t a faker; an honest fool is alright. But a dishonest fool is terrible! ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#humor

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead. ↗

— Stan Laurel

#laurel-and-hardy #laurel-hardy #stan-laurel #humor

Let me get this straight. you want me to go stomping through a graveyard brandishing a bottle of booze to rouse an unrestful spirit so that I can interrogate him?" - Cat to Bones ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#paranormal #humor

Nick could see the gun shaking in Alan's hand now, in tight, terrified spasms. "Last night we put a magician in the river," Alan said, his voice low and intense as if he was making a promise."Maybe we should send you to join him." "You know the rules," the woman whispered. "Don't shoot the messenger." Nick interrupted, leaning down to speak in her ear. "Do they say 'Don't cut the messenger in half with your great big sword'? ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor #nick #humor