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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




The Scriven men wore stack-heeled boots and pearl-studded evening coats; the ladies in their vast skirts looked like mythical creatures, half woman, half sofa. ↗


— Philip Reeve


#humor #mythical-creatures #men

If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. All that has been decided for them in advance. All they need to do is follow the orders given to them before the game, showing them where to run and how to violently deploy the meat of their bodies against the meat that is running at them. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the "coach" or "yelling surrogate dad who will never be happy. ↗


— John Hodgman


#humor #sports #men

Women are so irrational. Why else would they be with men? ↗


— Vasu Ritu Primlani


#men

I’ve given up men.” At that, he arched a brow. Be strong. Be confident. Be… Neytiri from Avatar. Okay, so Neytiri was a mythical creature, not to mention animated, but still. She was strong and confident, and that’s all that matters at the moment. “It’s true. At first, I was just going to give up attorneys, but that seemed immature—and far too exclusive, so I’m playing it safe and giving up all the penis-carrying humans.” Because that was so much more mature. ↗


— Jill Shalvis


#jackson #jax #maddie #men

She closed her eyes. “Okay, here’s the thing. We have some chemistry,” she allowed. “Some? Or supernova?” “Supernova. But,” she said to his knowing grin. Good Lord, he needed to stop doing that. “I really did give up men.” “Forever?” “My gut says yes, but that might be PMS talking. Let’s just say I’m giving up men for a very long time.” “You going to try out women? ↗


— Jill Shalvis


#men

Hell, I’m practically an escort for my rich doctor clients. They call and I come running whispering sweet nothings in their ears and whipping out some of the best drugs money can buy. Matter of fact, we just got some meds in that makes Viagra look like chewable kiddie vitamins. One of my doctors told me when he came it was so good, he blacked out temporarily. Me and my boy toy are trying that one out tonight. ↗


— A.T. Hicks


#humor #over-the-top #sex-crazed #viagra #money

What odd chaps you painters are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you, for there is only one thing in the world worse than begin talked about, and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you far above all the young men in England, and make the old men jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion. ↗


— Oscar Wilde


#oscar-wilde #wilde #men

Maybe I should be a lawyer instead of a magical baker, Rose though. Lawyers' mistakes rarely result in old men climbing on top of towers and taking off their pants. ~Bliss ↗


— Kathryn Littlewood


#men

There is, perhaps, no more dangerous man in the world than the man with the sensibilities of an artist but without creative talent. With luck such men make wonderful theatrical impresarios and interior decorators, or else they become mass murderers or critics. ↗


— Dame Edna Everage


#critics #humor #interior-decorators #murderers #talent

I believe it was the novelist Robert Heinlein," Nicholas drawled, "who said that 'women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax, and get used to the idea'. ↗


— Janet Chapman


#nicholas #men






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