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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




Considering the number of ghastly love poems that had been written and which seemed fairly clearly a waste of everyone's time, Jonathan couldn't help but be surprised that coffee hadn't been thus immortalized. ↗


— James P. Blaylock


#humor #poetry #love

There is no greater torture than being forced to watch as your love, your reason for living, breathing, and existing, sinks into oblivion. Your heart stops no matter how you try to get to her, she just gets farther and farther away." ~Fane from 'Beyond the Vail' "Attention shoppers, just a brief announcement, crazy ass werewolf on isle three. Those with abundance of testosterone, don't touch their lady merchandise and you might walk out of here intact." ~Jen from 'Fate and Fury'. "In the event of some sort of gathering, if one of the bossy, overbearing, possessive fur balls has not flipped his switch and attacked some poor young pup in some misguided attempt to protect his woman's virtue, then the night is not over." ~Jen from 'Beyond the Vail ↗


— Quinn Loftis


#humor #lovely #thoughtfull #love

It goes without saying that in order for me to buy a teapot at the Oneida, Ltd., outlet store at the Sherrill Shopping Plaza, the second coming of Jesus Christ had to have taken place in the year 70 A.D. To the Oneida Community, 70 A.D., the year the temple in Jerusalem was destroyed, marks the beginning of the New Jerusalem. Which means we’ve all been living in heaven on earth for nearly two thousand years. Everyone knows there is no marriage in heaven (though one suspects there’s no shortage of it in hell). So, the Oneidans said, we’re here in heaven, already saved and perfect in the eyes of God, so let’s move upstate and sleep around. (I’m paraphrasing.) ↗


— Sarah Vowell


#humor

I nipped little kisses along his jawline. God, I just couldn't keep my hands or lips off of him. "God, you are the most delicious thing I have ever tasted." He laughed. "That's something the vampire should be saying to you, not the other way around. ↗


— Tish Thawer


#humor #love #lovers #mature-ya #new-adult-romance

Today someone asked me if that old stereotype about hot-headed Italians is true. I answered this way: About 2,000 years ago, there was a guy running around hollering about peace & love ... and we nailed his ass to a cross! (Hope that answers your fuckin' question!) ↗


— Quentin R. Bufogle


#italians #jesus-christ #religion #stereotypes #love

I never had any doubts about my abilities. I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat while doing this. [Cormac McCarthy's Venomous Fiction, New York Times, April 19, 1992] ↗


— Cormac McCarthy


#author-quotes #creative-process #earning-a-living #gift #humor

There was something else that [Christopher] Reeve told me privately, off camera, and it made me grin. While he was lying in the hospital, just becoming conscious with tubes connected to all parts of his body, a doctor in a white coat came in and with a Russian accent, commanded: "Turn over!" Are you nuts? Reeve thought. I said: 'Turn over!'" the doctor repeated. As Reeve was about to answer "the imbecile", he realized there was something familiar about the man in the white coat. He wasn't a doctor at all. He was Reeve's old buddy from acting school at Julliard, Robin Williams. Reeve waited for a breath, and almost choked with laughter. He realized, he told me, "If I can laugh, I can live. ↗


— Barbara Walters


#inspirational #humor

do you know why Satan is so angry all the time?, Because whenever he works a particularly clever bit of mischief God uses it to serve his own Rigteous purposes. So God uses wicked people as his tools? God gives us the freedom to to do great evil, if we choose, Then He uses his own freedom to create goodness out of that evil, for that is what He chooses. So, in the long run, God always wins? Yes, in the short run though it Can be uncomfortable. ↗


— Orson Scott Card


#inspirational #freedom

Words to a writer is like notes to a musician, both know when they are off key. ↗


— June Davidson


#inspirational #inspirational

What would have been the fate of sages if there were no fools? ↗


— Ogwo David Emenike


#humor #inspirational #sage #inspirational






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