#humor

How . . . how are you doing, Jace?” Dr. Pete manages. “Holding on. Just barely. Charlie?” Charlie’s tone is almost conversational. “Kind of getting the urge to kill both of you.Think I’m gonna head back.” “Sure, okay, no problem.” “Yeah, yeah, good idea. You do that.” Charlie turns and trudges away. It’s just Dr. Pete and me now. ↗

— D.D. Barant

#humor

Finally, Jace suspects it's a bad sign that he is referring to himself in the third person. ↗

— Swati Avasthi

#humor

Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #politics #humor

Then she probably would have waved back," Max said. "And it might be a he." "Ha! Not likely," Lucia said. "Didn't you notice them?" "Them what?" Max asked. "Her... you know. She has breasts, Max! What do you think that is on her chest?" "I think it's a pair of crossed arms," Max said. ↗

— Ellen Potter

#humor

Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car... ↗

— Tim Key

#laugh #humor

So what is this feadnach? Is it another curse that makes me beholden to slaves and shrews?' 'No, my lord. It is your heart. Difficult as it may be to comprehend, there is a possibility you may have one. ↗

— Carol Berg

#humor

Have you ever tried to bribe a Korathi priest, Lukel?" Shuden asked pointedly. Lukel looked around uncomfortably. "I'd rather not answer that question, thank you. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

We are not really spying, we're just satisfying our curiosity. ↗

— Paul Christopher

#humor

Writing is my life. Life is my hobby. ↗

— Emma Lai

#writing-life #humor

They should let my son be Federal Reserve chairman. At least he'll play with his toys and not ruin the economy. ↗

— Peter D. Schiff

#humor