#humor

All masculine, hard-bodied and sensual, he was a deadly weapon sent by the gods to drive women mad, and a walking billboard for all things wicked and carnal. Orgasms! Get your orgasms here. Hot and juicy! Just how you like ‘em! ↗

— Lisa Sanchez

#paranormal #romance #sex-appeal #humor

Don't Keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason ↗

— Jimmy Fallon

#humor

if you follow all the rules, you will miss all the fun ↗

— Katherine Hepburn

#inspirational #humor

Well, there it is. That's Jeeves. Where others merely smite the brow and clutch the hair, he acts. Napoleon was the same. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor

When you sleep I will creep Into your thoughts Like a bad debt That you can't pay Take the easy way and give in! ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Psychologists call this habituation, economists call it declining marginal utility, and the rest of us call it marriage. ↗

— Daniel Gilbert

#humor

Sebastian it is. You can tell me what a patron saint is later, since I have no knowledge of such things. Sebastian Kane. "Sebastian Kane Cannon. You're going to marry me and use my last name, right?" "Is that supposed to be a proposal? ↗

— Christine Feehan

#children #humor #marriage-proposal #humor

An eternity of wishing to speak directly to my Creator - I thought in despair - and this is how He finally contacts me? Through AOL Instant Messenger? ↗

— A.M. Jenkins

#religion #humor

I’ve been waiting my whole life to fuck up like this. ↗

— Robert Stone

#humor

I think we have different value systems." —Arthur "Well mine's better." —Ford ↗

— Douglas Adams

#science #scifi #humor