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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




When your done releasing sexual tensions, we have a meeting to continue!" ~ Francis Bonnefoy, Hetalia, English Dub ↗


— Francis Bonnefoy


#humor #lol #humor

I generally find,' Clent murmured after a pause, 'that it is best to treat borrowed time the same way as borrowed money. Spend it with panache, and try to be somewhere else when it runs out.' 'And when we get found, Mr. Clent, when the creditors and bailiffs come after us and it's payment time...' '...then we borrow more, madam, at a higher interest. We embark on a wilder gamble, make a bigger promise, tell a braver story, devise a more intricate lie, sell the hides of imaginary dragons to desperate men, climb to even higher and more precarious ground...and later, of course, our fall and catastrophe will be all the worse, but later will be our watchword, Mosca. We have nothing else - but we can at least make later later. ↗


— Frances Hardinge


#procrastination #humor

We watched Vamps hunting Vamps, Vamp hunters and Witches torching Vamps, teenage girls kissing Vamps. And we giggled and swooned through it all. ↗


— Shelly Crane


#humor #movie-night #sleepovers #teenagers #vampires

Night falls over Machu Picchu to the sound of Abba's 'Dancing Queen'. ↗


— Michael Palin


#machu-picchu #travel #humor

well I believe in commitment it's just I, you know, I don't stick to it. ↗


— Jim Lewis


#relationships #humor

There was no mistaking her sincerity--it breathed in every tone of her voice. Both Marilla and Mrs. Lynde recognized its unmistakable ring. But the former understood in dismay that Anne was actually enjoying her valley of humiliation--was reveling in the thoroughness of her abasement. Where was the wholesome punishment upon which she, Marilla, had plumed herself? Anne had turned it into a species of positive pleasure. ↗


— L.M. Montgomery


#insight #humor

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're totally welcome, guys. P.S. Girls can't see this sentence!!!!!) ↗


— Eugene Mirman


#humor #oral-sex #sex #humor

Authors of light pieces have, nobody knows why, a genius for getting into minor difficulties: they walk into the wrong apartments, they drink furniture polish for stomach bitters, they drive their cars into the prize tulip beds of haughty neighbors, they playfully slap gangsters, mistaking them for old school friends. ↗


— James Thurber


#humor

I do beg you to have some regard for my pride. A million years? I assure you I would stop asking after the first thousand. ↗


— Mary Balogh


#humor #humor

I wondered if I could get a witch to cast a truth spell on Debbie Pelt, whom I despised because she had been cruel to Alcide, insulted me grievously, burned a hole in my favorite wrap and--oh--tried to kill me by proxy. Also, she had stupid hair. ↗


— Charlainne Harris


#sookie-stackhouse #vampires #humor






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