#humor

Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully. "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever." "And he has Brain." "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain." There was a long silence. "I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#cleverness #humor #piglet #understanding #winnie-the-pooh

I should never be left alone with my mind for too long. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humor #insanity #humor

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #the-new-yorker #humor

Are you sleepwalking?' A voice asked behind me. "I was testing dorm security," I said. "It sucks. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

I wasn't fooled. He was avoiding looking at me. "There's nothing to talk about." "I knew you'd say that. Actually, it was a toss-up between that and 'I don't know what you're talking about.'" Dimitri sighed. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #humor

I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything. ↗

— Geoff Johns

#humor

Dude, I don’t want to talk about Lacey’s prom shoes. And I’ll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It’s called a penis. ↗

— John Green

#humor #masculinity #humor

People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#insanity #humor

We fatties have a bond, dude. It's like a secret society. We got all kinds of shit you don't know about. Handshakes, special fat people dances-we got these secret fugging lairs in the center of the earth and we go down there in the middle of the night when all the skinny kids are sleeping and eat cake and friend chicken and shit. Why d'you think Hollis is still sleeping, kafir? Because we were up all night in the secret lair injecting butter frosting into our veins. ...A fatty trusts another fatty. ↗

— John Green

#humor #humor

Thinking is hard work, which is why you don't see many people doing it. ↗

— Sue Grafton

#independent-thought #thought #humor