#humor

She is my companion on my many genealogical hunts, and I will be forever indebted to her for the knowledge that she bequeathed to me. And I can think of nobody I would rather traipse through a cemetery with, and that says a lot about a person. ↗

— Rett MacPherson

#humor #family

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#pun #humor

An English gentleman never shines his shoes, but then nor does a lazy bastard. ↗

— Will Self

#humor

There are some bad people on the rise; they're saving their own skins by ruining people's lives. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Which meant it was time for the centerpiece of the celebration, the reason they were all gathered on Saturday, the weekly episode of what, as far as many of the Davidsons including Jody were concerned was the greatest television show ever made. Hee Haw. While Roy and Buck sang the opening song, everyone would bicker and talk back and forth, what was better about the show, the music or the humor, what have you, the natural result of 40 people crowded around one rabbit eared television set. But once Hee Haw started, the talking was over. After that, it was all about the love. And so was everything before, really. ↗

— Brian Holers

#humor #love #family

People never like to talk about their slower relatives. I got a cousin, twice removed, got webs between his toes, ain't said one word his whole life. You never hear about him in the family newsletter that goes around every Christmas. Hell, nobody mentions me, either, if it comes to that. Families is funny about who they advertise. ↗

— Susan Juby

#family

And then there's the perverse joy of subtly working in references to marathon training in daily life, say at the post office or while waiting outside my first-graders' classrooms at the end of the school day. ↗

— Sarah Bowen Shea

#marathon #running #family

Cross-country skiing is fine as long as you live in a small country. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that hap­pi­ness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t under­stand the assign­ment and I told them they didn’t under­stand life. ↗

— Julius Caesar

#inspirational #science #humor

Venice she is like the beautiful cortigiana—the courtesan—who has”—Zeggio frowned, searching for the phrase he wanted—“dropped on the hours of trouble.” “Fallen on hard times,” James said. “Fallen on hard times,” Zeggio repeated. He murmured the phrase to himself a few times. “I see. The same but not the same. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#beauty