#humor

Psychologists call this habituation, economists call it declining marginal utility, and the rest of us call it marriage. ↗

— Daniel Gilbert

#humor

Sebastian it is. You can tell me what a patron saint is later, since I have no knowledge of such things. Sebastian Kane. "Sebastian Kane Cannon. You're going to marry me and use my last name, right?" "Is that supposed to be a proposal? ↗

— Christine Feehan

#children #humor #marriage-proposal #humor

An eternity of wishing to speak directly to my Creator - I thought in despair - and this is how He finally contacts me? Through AOL Instant Messenger? ↗

— A.M. Jenkins

#religion #humor

I’ve been waiting my whole life to fuck up like this. ↗

— Robert Stone

#humor

I think we have different value systems." —Arthur "Well mine's better." —Ford ↗

— Douglas Adams

#science #scifi #humor

You know where we got stuck? We were looking for faithfull, loving and perfect relationships-males who were always glad to see us." "So?" "We already have that!" "What do you mean?" "We've got dogs! ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor #peeled #humor

It's not wrong to hustle hustlers. It's like killing murderers, a public service. -Damon Salvatore ↗

— L.J. Smith

#damon-salvatore #diaries #elena #elena-gilbert #gilbert

The most incomprehensible thing in the world to a man, is a woman who rejects his offer of marriage! ↗

— Jane Austen

#love #marriage #humor

Those of you who are not aware of my brilliant career as a stand up comic, I'm not aware of it either so we might well wonder what we're doing here. ↗

— Alan Rickman

#comedy #humor #humor

Can you believe the man rhymed 'Rumplestiltskin' with 'crumpled napkins'? ↗

— Christopher Healy

#rhyme #humor