#humor

Lord love you,” Ms. Eulalie said, “but you tell lies like Ms. Franny sings: hard to listen to and even harder to believe. ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor

I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will give me enough money not only to live a comfortable existence, but also to buy many, many new pairs of shoes. ↗

— Jen Lancaster

#writing #humor

Indeed, when I came to Italy, I expected to encounter a certain amount of resentment, but have received instead empathy from most Italians. In any reference to George Bush, people only nod to Berlusconi, saying","We understand how it is - we have one, too. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#george-bush #humor #italy #politics #humor

Are you watching the boats?" Cornelia guessed. She craned her neck to see if there was any excitement on the river. Heavens no, I'm spying on people," Virginia responded unrepentantly. -Cornelia E and Virginia Somerset ↗

— Lesley M.M. Blume

#blume #boats #cornelia #escapades #humor

When I was still quite young I had a complete presentiment of life. It was like the nauseating smell of cooking escaping from a ventilator: you don't have to have eaten it to know that it would make you throw up. ↗

— Julian Barnes

#humor #life #youth #humor

Money may not buy happiness, but it allows you to shop in better places for it. ↗

— Christoper Pike

#humor

Nora said: 'I love you, Nicky, because you smell nice and know such fascinating people. ↗

— Dashiell Hammett

#love #humor

IRRESPONSIBILITY: No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood. ↗

— unknown (seen on faux-motivational poster)

#motivational #humor

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right. ↗