#humor

I could not imagine the kind of person that would, upon seeing a crazy talcum-powder-covered Southern lady think to herself, Hmmmm, she might make a great new friend. The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. ↗

— Augusten Burroughs

#insanity #humor

But how do we know it's really you? I mean, I could put a saucepan on my head and call myself the God of Boiled Dumplings; wouldn't mean I was telling the truth. ↗

— K.J. Parker

#humor

Begin the fun, the fun's begun. One for all, and all for one. ↗

— Laura Chester

#inspirational #humor

I feel like a cup of tea with no milk. I just had one. It was disgusting. ↗

— Paul Colman

#paul-colman #tea #humor

Jason tilts his head toward me, his hand moving slyly across his book. Stupid. Speech. Woman. ↗

— Cynthia Lord

#humor

If cats could drive, text and launch missiles, they would rule the world ↗

— Quasi

#humor

I tried to find a word for it in my thesaurus, but there isn't one. At least, not one that doesn't belittle the plight of POWs and victims of famine. I guess we can just call it beyond suck. -Lulu Dark ↗

— Bennett Madison

#sassy-teens #synonyms #humor

I tried to smile but feared I would cry. 'I always wondered what it was like to be shot.' 'Now you've lived to tell the tale. ↗

— Cameron Stracher

#humor

Life lesson 1, never tell a woman she's fat. ↗

— John Hankins

#humor

Everytime Ah see uh patch uh roses uh somethin' oversportin' theyselves makin' out they pretty, Ah tell 'em 'Ah want yuh tuh see mah Janie sometime.' You must let de flowers see yuh sometimes, heah, Janie? ↗

— Zora Neale Hurston

#love #humor