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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor
I'm writing a book on Procrastination. I hope to start it tomorrow. I've been thinking about it for almost six years now. ↗
One Monday, just for sport, Charlie grabbed an eggplant that a spectacularly wizened granny was going for, but instead of twisting it out of his hand with some mystic kung fu move as he expected, she looked him in the eye and shook her head - just a jog, barely perceptible really - it might have been a tic, but it was the most eloquent of gestures. Charlie read it as saying: O White Devil, you do not want to purloin that purple fruit, for I have four thousand years of ancestors and civilization on you; my grandparents built the railroads and dug the silver mines, and my parents survived the earthquake, the fire, and a society that outlawed even being Chinese; I am mother to a dozen, grandmother to a hundred, and great-grandmother to a legion; I have birthed babies and washed the dead; I am history and suffering and wisdom; I am a Buddha and a dragon; so get your fucking hand off my eggplant before you lose it. ↗
At St. Bernardine’s the nuns never liked me. Especially Sister Mary Bitch-and-a-Half. I think that was her biblical name. ↗
Nothing works. My throat, my eyelids - nothing but my heart, which - oh god – am I having a panic attack? No, no, you don't almost orgasm with a panic attack. ↗
The sad thing is that sometimes I just wanna roll over and give her a little cuddle, but the bolster pillow she insists on sleeping with down the middle of the bed between us means I’d need to be a mountaineer as well as a locksmith. ↗
Not that I did, bang her that is. I’m not saying I wouldn’t, how could I ever be sure about something like that? ↗
Levelling my stare at him I drop a hint like a penny into a well, “You mentioned you were tied up. Win, you should have reserved that privilege for me. ↗
I quite enjoy the banter actually. I mean, you don't meet many females who can come back at you as fast as you can throw it out at them. I prefer a more graphic dialogue as a forerunner to sex though: if they have the guts to spell it out for me in glorious Technicolor that always gets my interest. ↗
