#humor

Speak, or I will put a dint in your hat that even a wizard will find hard to deal with! ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor #lord-of-the-rings #humor

I said I fell down. Ah. The ground bloodied your nose, split yer lip, and punched ye in th' eye, all at once. I said I don't want to talk about it. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#pride #humor

Did you hear something?" "No." "Did I hear something?" "...I don't know... ↗

— Matt Groening

#humor #lenny #the-simpsons #humor

He was tall and scrawny with a face that could be mistaken with Keith Richards on a bad day. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

Snowball?" It's white." Meow." It's so girly." This from a guy who named his poodle Princess." his laughter died. "How do you know about Princess?" Your sister told me. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #romance #humor

None could guess my confusion, my host of deluded illusions and elusive delusions! A mantle of marble hiding a crumbling core of sandstone. See how they stare at me, wondering, all wondering, at my secret wellspring of wisdom...' Let's kill him,' Crokus muttered, 'if only to put him out of our misery. ↗

— Steven Erikson

#humor #humor

There is a monsterous deal of stupid quizzing, & common-place nonsense talked, but scarcely any wit. ↗

— Jane Austen

#jane-austen #wit #humor

Just because it makes no sense doesn't mean it's not good advice. ↗

— Mick Farren

#strange #humor

I didn't invent the middle finger, but I perfected the use of it. ↗

— Ted Nugent

#humor

If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor