#humor

If ever there was something she needed to stick around and fight for, Luc was that something. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #rachel-gibson #romance #see-jane-score #humor

Throughout our history, humanity has been plagued with questions, and also plagued with regular plagues. I don't know much about biology, so I can't speak to actual plagues. However, I can answer all kinds of questions: moral, ethical, job-related, child rearing, party etiquette, romantic, technological, stuff about boobs, and my three faves: How do I have sex with someone and not talk to them again?, Can you hit a kid for a very, very good reason?, and of course How do you get a self-righteous asshole to shut the fuck up, even if they're right? ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor

Some days life just wasn't worth the trouble of chewing through the leather straps on the straitjacket. ↗

— Katie Maxwell

#humor #humor

Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life ↗

— Hugh Sidey

#humor

I can't help it, Kate. And I'm laughing at me. I feel like one of those sappy men who run around with a big grin on his face all the time. I feel like grinning all the time around you, and it's so idiotic. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#love #humor

Templeton was down there now, rummaging around. When he returned to the barn, he carried in his mouth an advertisement he had torn from a crumpled magazine. How's this?" he asked, showing the ad to Charlotte. It says 'Crunchy.' 'Crunchy' would be a good word to write in your web." Just the wrong idea," replied Charlotte. "Couldn't be worse. We don't want Zuckerman to think Wilbur is crunchy. He might start thinking about crisp, crunchy bacon and tasty ham. That would put ideas into his head. We must advertise Wilbur's noble qualities, not his tastiness. ↗

— E.B. White

#humor

Yes but the point is that you can go to the ballet with me or a baseball game or a concert and wherever is fine. You're like the Swiss army knife friend; you have an attachment for everything. ↗

— Mary Calmes

#m-m-romance #humor

Your assignment,' he bellowed at Kelly, 'was to make a persuasive argument. Demanding to know whether detractors of your position are on crack is not arguing persuasively. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

She was good at talking with young people. She seemed to view them as interesting foreigners. ↗

— Anne Tyler

#humor

Smite me? You think you can smite me? Do you even know what that means? I shrugged. "What do you think it means?" I thought I'd gotten it right. "Nothing," she cackled, "Absolutely nothing because you couldn't smite me even if you knew what it meant." "Really? A minute ago you didn't think I could see you. How do you know what I can't do?" That slowed her down. "Trust me, if I can see you, I can smite you." - Aurora to Peaches ↗

— A&E Kirk

#humor #humor