#humor

Haruna: If you don't fall for her, she might kill you!...I'll protect you with all I've got! Yoh: Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I got myself a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. ↗

— Kazune Kawahara

#humor #yoh #humor

Random chance is not sufficient to explain random chance. ~Jubal Harshaw ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#evolution #humor #ingenious-statements #random-chance #humor

He lost himself somewhere on the harmless side of lunacy, slightly south of innocuous but definetly north of demented. ↗

— Tony Vigorito

#humor #just-a-couple-of-days #humor

I do not know if all cops are poets, but I know that all cops carry guns with triggers. ↗

— Ralph Ellison

#fiction #humor #rsas #humor

صر كده علي بعضها ومفيش تنقية مصرباكيدج وبسعر الجملة.وماينفعش تحبها بالقطعة. ياتاخدها علي بعضها..ياتسيبها كلها ↗

— محمد فتحي

#humor

In the backseat Moose and Squirrel inhabited a pair of six-year-old-twins, and wouldn't stop bickering and picking their noses. They were clearly in their element. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humor

What is evil?' you ask. To which I reply, 'Who are you, Friedrich Nietzsche?' To which you respond, 'Duh, wha? Me no understand.' Then I put you back in your cage. ↗

— Josh Lieb

#humor #humor

Whenever I eat a GoFast bar," Ben says, "I'm always like, 'So this is what blood tastes like to mosquitoes. ↗

— John Green (Paper Towns)

#papertowns #humor

He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him. What?' Ronald said. I didn't say anything.' You're breathing heavy. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#faking_it #humor #humor

I swear on St. Francis, the patron saint of all animals.” Seeing Poppy’s hesitation, Beatrix added enthusiastically, “If a band of pirates kidnapped me and took me to their ship and threatened to make me walk the plank over a shiver of starving sharks unless I told them your secret, I still wouldn’t tell it. If I were tied by a villain and thrown before a herd of stampeding horses all shod in iron, and the only way to keep from being trampled was to tell the villain your secret, I— ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor