#humor

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly. ↗

— Melissa Jo Peltier

#reality-tv #satire #television #humor

Paull has his own style, which is folksy, not canned. Religion? He's got one. His prophet's Ayn Rand. By Rand's eerie theories he's fervently gripped, So he won't do flip-flops. He long ago flipped. ↗

— Calvin Trillin

#politics #humor

So, what are you doing with my little sister today?” Daniel asked. I closed my eyes in defeat. “I’m afraid I can’t ruin the surprise,” Noah said. “But I promise I’ll return her intact.” He did not just say that. Daniel cackled ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#embarrassment #humor #humor

He peered down at me. “Jesus Christ. You’re leaking.” If by “leaking” he meant “sobbing like a girl,” I guess so. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #ya-paranormal #humor

I picked out Nathan and James standing next to each other and wiggled in between them. "Dude we got lucky, threesome." James whispered over my head to Nathan. "Puh-leez..." I muttered and rolled my eyes. Nathan shushed us both. ↗

— Bella Shadow

#humor #humor

Samuel didn't move. 'What will you do it I climb off the bed?' 'Well I can eat you, or I can drag you down to the depths of Hell, never to seen or heard from again. Depends, really.' 'On what?' 'Lost of things: hygiene, for a start. After tasting that sock, I don't fancy eating any part of you, to be honest, so it'll have to be the depths of Hell for you, I'm afraid. ↗

— John Connolly

#humor

One of my book-reading friends used the term "our story unfolds" when describing a paper he was writing. He became somewhat less of a friend right at that moment. ↗

— Tommy Greenwald

#humor

His lips look like two worms fucking. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor

I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him. 'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#sarcasm #humor

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. ↗

— Emperor Charles V

#humorous-quotes #languages #humor