#humor

First, the weather got hotter every day, and the hay press broke down every day. Second, the boss fell in love with Marian Wray, and the hay press broke down every day. Third, inside of forty-eight hours everybody on that crew hated everybody else, and the hay press broke down every day. Fourth, and most important of all, the hay press broke down every day. ↗

— Max Brand

#western #love

We piled aboard the small chopper and after a bit of map pointing to the pilot we lifted off. "I love the RAF," said Jed. "I love them too, sir," said I. After a short flight the chopper landed. We all got out and waved our thanks and farewells to the crew and Major Jenner checked his map. After a quick examination he announced that we had been dropped in the wrong place. "I fucking hate the RAF," said Jed. "I fucking hate them too, sir," said I. ↗

— Ken Lukowiak

#humor #paratroopers #raf #soldiers #war

Sissy had two great failings. She was a great lover and a great mother. She had so much of tenderness in her, so much of wanting to give of herself to whoever needed what she had, whether it was her money, her time, the clothes off her back, her pity, her understanding, her friendship or her companionship and love. She was mother to everything that came her way. She loved men, yes. She loved women too, and old people, and especially children. How she loved children! She loved the down-and-outers. She wanted to make everybody happy. She had tried to seduce the good priest who heard her infrequent confessions because she felt sorry for him. She thought he was missing the greatest joy on earth by being committed to a life of celibacy. ↗

— Betty Smith

#humor #love #friendship

HYDRO-MAN: Pathetic, you don't really think you can match the power of Hydro-Man do you? SPIDER-MAN: Did you say Hydrant-Man? The dogs must love you. ↗

— Spider-Man

#spiderman #love

I believe that people should write biographies only about people they love, or understand, or both. Novels, on the other hand, are often better if they're about people the writer doesn't like very much. ↗

— Penelope Fitzgerald

#writing-advice #writing-craft #writing-humor #love

Watching Castro, whose tiny hands looked like marshmallows, hoist the ball from his waist and through the hoop seemed like the human equivalent of an ant lifting fifty times its body weight. ↗

— Rafe Bartholomew

#love

The ocean swells around us. Sometimes, we are in a bowl of water and sometimes on the top of the lip. The horizon curves. We are sitting on top of the world. In theory, anyone is on the top of their world at every moment, given that the Earth is truly round. But, it’s hard to see that in a subway under New York City and completely obvious out here. ↗

— Lexis De Rothschild

#fiction #humor #indie-author #love

As they ate, Hippothous told them a tale of love, lust, subterfuge, murder, flight, shipwreck, loss and exile – a tale worthy of a Greek romance. ‘Probably from a fucking Greek romance,’ muttered Calgacus. ↗

— Harry Sidebottom

#love

I snipped off the stem and took a knee. "For you, my love. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet as your feet." Jules smacked me on the back of the head. ↗

— B. Justin Shier

#love

A world where no child need cry because you didn’t buy him that ring pop at checkout, even though you know that he’ll never finish it and it will just end up a sticky mass of carpet lint and hair somewhere under the seat of the car. A world where no child need cry for want of shelter or love. A world where that child will finally just shut his cake hole. ↗

— Benjamin Wallace

#love