#humour

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#democracy

Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#paraphrased #influence

I am who I am and that's who I am ↗

— Nikolai Gogol

#reality #present

He wants as many victors as possible for the cameras to follow in the Capitol. Thinks it makes for better television." "Are you and Beetee going?" I ask. "As many young and attractive victors as possible," Haymitch corrects himself. "So, no. We'll be here. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#humour #katniss-everdeen #television

I'd blow someone for a valium," I said in Jacob's ear. "Maybe he's got one... but try offering a hand-job first so you retain some leverage. ↗

— Jordan Castillo Price

#television

THAT'S IT!" Terminus cried. "That's AGAINST THE RULES!" Polybotes frowned, obviously confused that he was being told off by a statue. "What are you?" he growled. "Shut up!" He pushed the statue over and turned back to Percy. "Now I'm MAD!" Terminus shrieked. "I'm strangling you. Feel that? Those are my hands around your neck, you big bully. Get over here! I'm going to head-butt you so hard-- ↗

— Rick Riordan

#fiction-fantasy #humour #percy-jackson #polybotes #rick-riordan

I want a baby of my very own one day, but it seems that my being male is a BIIIIT of a problem. ↗

— Yana Toboso

#grell #humour #comedy

Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph! ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#london

Big flashy things have my name written all over them. Well... not yet, give me time and a crayon. ↗

— Matt Smith

#big-flashy-things #doctor-who #humour #matt-smith #christmas

They say that maths is a language. So how do I order a pizza with extra cheese in maths? ↗