#humour

Contrary to my image, I do have a sense of humour. ↗

— Andy Murray

#humour #i #i do #image #sense

Tom, how many children do you think I have to have before I figure out you get them by having sex?" "Of course there would be protection," he offered. "Tons of it. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#robyn-carr #romance #romantic #romantic

Okay, babe, I'm here.” The front door smashed opened, slamming against the wall—the man didn't know how to turn a knob? ↗

— Christy Reece

#romance #romantic-suspense #romantic

I was worried people would laugh at me when I started to talk the language, but they were just pleasantly surprised that I could. The sense of humour here is great - once I could have a giggle, I settled down. ↗

— Parminder Nagra

#down #giggle #great #here #humour

Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a romantic evening, unless you happened to be a twisted exterminator, he thought. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#fleas #funny #humor #humour #pass-the-fleas-please

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#science-fiction #science

That's where humour lives for me. In the body. The Steve Martin kind of stuff or Jim Carrey, that's what I like. I've always felt that's what I would like to do. ↗

— Al Pacino

#body #carrey #felt #humour #i

If you find yourself suddenly mated to a werewolf, whatever you do, don't panic. Simply turn to Jen for assistance and she will give you a cool acronym to call him…because that's just so important." -Sally ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#funny #humourous-situations #sally #funny

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#destruction #earthquakes #floods #funny #funny-and-random

All I could determine was that it must have been a nice thing to see if it was a house you were thinking about moving into. But not so nice if it was the house you were moving out from. I could practically hear Mr Collins, who had taught my fifth-grade English class and was still the most intimidating teacher I'd ever had, yelling at me. "Amy Curry," I could still hear him intoning, "never end a sentence with a preposition!" Irked that after six hears he was still mentally correcting me, I told the Mr. Collins in my head to off fuck. ↗

— Morgan Matson

#books #funny #humour #funny