#humour

So I wrote what I hoped would be science fiction, I was not at all sure if what I wrote would be acceptable even. But I don't say that I consciously wrote with humour. Humour is a part of you that comes out. ↗

— Robert Sheckley

#comes #consciously #even #fiction #hoped

Have you been reading those books that clueless illiterate Duja in charge of the lending library lets you borrow?’ ‘No, Ma.’ ‘Then what put you in mind of devils possessing nuns to take over the church? ↗

— Renita D'Silva

#humour #india #indian-fiction #women-s-fiction #funny

That's your solution? Have a cookie? ↗

— Micheal Grant

#humour #funny

Carlos, are we in complete understanding with each other?” “Yeah,” I say. “As long as it’s not in your house and you don’t know about it, you’re okay with us messin’ around.” “I know you’re joking with me. You are joking with me, aren’t you?” “Maybe. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Does Playboy still run fiction?” “I have absolutely no idea, Melinda,” he said, grinning. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #funny

Must be frustrating being a scientist. There you are, incrementally discovering how the universe works via a series of complex tests and experiments, for the benefit of all mankind - and what thanks do you get? People call you "egghead" or "boffin" or "heretic", and they cave your face in with a rock and bury you out in the wilderness. Not literally - not in this day and age - but you get the idea. Scientists are mistrusted by huge swathes of the general public, who see them as emotionless lab-coated meddlers-with-nature rather than, say, fellow human beings who've actually bothered getting off their arses to work this shit out. ↗

— Charlie Brooker

#science #age

You have very Grace Kelly-like tendencies about you. I hear Grace Kelly had a filthy mouth too," he added. "You love my filthy mouth." "True. But I like it better when its full," he said, meaningful smirk in place. "You know, if you would shut up once in a while you'd be damn near perfect." "But I'd be a silent panty ripper, which I think is a lot creepier than the angry-boss panty ripper. ↗

— Christina Lauren

#beauty

One quick glance around the room and I realise that I have somehow stumbled into a wannabe serial killer convention. Every single person in the room looks as if they are concealing a weapon of some sort. My heart thuds rapidly in my chest as I sneak past an elderly man who grins lecherously at me, flashing his gold tooth. Oh dear God, I’m going to die! First, I get dumped – on my birthday no less – and now I’m going to get knifed in some seedy bar! ↗

— J.C. McClean

#humour #funny

...trying to predict whether global warming will moderate the next ice age is not only impossible but irrelevant. It doesn't help us get through the next few centuries. And one can only imagine our future, shivering, ice age descendants cursing us for leaving them no fossil fuel to create a global warming "greenhouse" effect when one is really needed. ↗

— John Harte

#global-warming #humour #age

It is a building designed by committee: all they have been able to agree on is that it should be rectangular, have windows, and not fall over. ↗

— Max Barry

#committees #humour #architecture