#humour

Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious. ↗

— Michael Diack

#humour #santa-claus #home

What is a "canty day", Dennis?' 'I've never troubled to ask. Something like hogmanay, I expect.' 'What is that?' 'People being sick on the pavement in Glasgow.' 'Oh. ↗

— Evelyn Waugh

#love

She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my bones just a second ago. ↗

— Cori Moore

#honeymoon #humour #innuendo #sarcastic-humor #shifter

Who’s driving the boat?” Over the motor, I heard girls screaming at us the instant before we crashed. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

One of the differences between us was that Marc wanted very badly to climb the Eiger, while I wanted very badly only to have climbed the Eiger. Marc, understand, is at that age when the pituitary secretes an overabundance of those hormones that mask the subtler emotions, such as fear. He tends to confuse things like life-or-death climbing with fun. ↗

— Jon Krakauer

#mountaineering #age

Without desire, one is a walking cadaver. ↗

— Karldon Okruta

#humour #inspirational-attitude #wake-up-call #attitude

There is nothing we can now call our own, for what we call so is the effect of art; crimes are made by decrees of the senate, or by the votes of the people; and as here-to-fore we are burdened by vices, so now we are oppressed by laws. ↗

— Blaise Pascal

#inspirational #philosphical #political #art

With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#women #beauty

You can't always be right, but you can be wrong a lot less ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #wisdom #life

So I wrote what I hoped would be science fiction, I was not at all sure if what I wrote would be acceptable even. But I don't say that I consciously wrote with humour. Humour is a part of you that comes out. ↗

— Robert Sheckley

#comes #consciously #even #fiction #hoped