#humour

..the nuclear family from across the street, which, as a result of decay, truly did have 2.5 kids; ↗

— Robin Becker

#humour #zombies #death

Shall we proceed, and ought I do so with my knife drawn?” “You’d better keep it where it is for the moment,” he said. “Otherwise you might stab me to death accidentally.” . “If I stab you to death,” she said, “it will not be accidental. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#death

And very amusing it is to watch,” said Jem. “Did you know you twitch your nose when you sleep, like a rabbit?” “I do not,” she said, with a whispered laugh.- In my dreams (Chapter 17) deleted scene- Clockwork Prince ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#fangirling #humour #jem #tessa #dreams

He was a philosopher, if you know what that was.’ ‘A man who dreams of fewer things than there are in heaven and earth,’ said the Savage promptly. ‘Quite so… ↗

— Aldous Huxley

#philosophy #shakespeare #dreams

Weirdism is definitely the cornerstone of many an artist's career. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#artist #artists #artists-life #arts-and-humanities #artsy

One of the disadvantages of almost universal education was the fact that all kinds of persons acquired a familiarity with one's favorite writers. It gave one a curious feeling; it was like seeing a drunken stranger wrapped in one's dressing gown. ↗

— Stella Gibbons

#humour #education

They were small, brightly coloured, happy little creatures who secreted some of the nastiest toxins in the world, which is why the job of looking after the large vivarium where they happily passed their days was given to first-year students, on the basis that if they got things wrong there wouldn't be too much education wasted. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#education

When statistics come in saying that only 29 percent of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42 percent of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF SURVEY? ↗

— Caitlin Moran

#humour #equality

It was long after midnight and the stars looked damp and chilly; the air was full of the busy silence of the night, which is created by hundreds of small furry things treading very carefully in the hope of finding dinner while avoiding being the main course. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humour #business

It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a house or something. ↗

— Catherine Gilbert Murdock

#funny #humor #humour #size #dating