#humour

Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing. ↗

— Nathan Hassall

#funny #nascent-illusion #sad #scary #strange

Wash: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting. Mal: Define "interesting". Wash: "Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die"? Mal [on speakerphone]: This is the captain: we have a little problem with our entry sequence so we may experience some slight turbulence, then explode. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#firefly #humour #experience

If you’re calling her a floozy, I’m by way of being a bit of a floozy myself.” “Oh, Jared,” said Kami, who was well aware of his romantic experience, or total lack thereof. “You are not.” “Well, I have floozy ambitions. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#jared-lynburn #experience

I don't know if you've ever been covered head to toe in prickle bush, but let me tell you, it's not a pleasant experience, as I'm sure you can imagine. ↗

— Elizabeth Newton

#fiction #humour #sci-fi #science-fiction #train

The thingy? You want me, the most intelligent cognitive processor in the known worlds, to say thingy?” “Yes,” I reaffirmed. “That is correct." Do you stay up nights thinking of ways to humiliate me?" HARV asked. ↗

— John Zakour

#humour #intelligence

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#life

When he didn't answer, she didn't know if it was because he couldn't or if he was back to not talking to her. Back to pushing her out of his life. Men! Why was it that boys said girls were so hard to understand, when she hadn't known a single guy who hadn't confused her to the point of screaming? ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humour #kylie #men #taken-at-dusk #life

Don't ask me who's influenced me. A lion is made up of all the lambs he's digested, and I've been reading all my life. ↗

— George Seferis

#influence #life

When you walk into a chocolate store, suddenly the most difficult decision you will ever have to make in your life, is which chocolates to pick! It is pure torture! Especially when you are in Belgium surrounded by Belgian chocolates! ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#belgium #chocolates #decisions #humour #torture

I[John/Four] scratched Bernie Kosar's head. I don't think I could get used to calling him Hadley, but maybe I could get used to calling Six Maren Elizabeth. "I think you should take on a human name," I say. "If not Maren Elizabeth, then something else. I mean, at least for when we're in front of strangers." Everyone grows silent, and I reach behind me into the Chest for the velvet bag holding the Lorien's solar system. I set the six planets and the sun in my palm and watch them hover and glow to life. As the planets begin to orbit their sun, I find that I am able to dim their brightness with my mind. I intentionally lose myself in them, successfully forgetting just for a few moments that I might ba seeing Sarah soon. Six turns to look at the faint solar system that floats in front of my chest, and then she finally says. "I don't know; I still like the name Six. Maren Elizabeth was when I was a different person, and right now Six just feels right. It can be short for something if Someone asks." Sam looks over. "For what? Sixty? ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#life