#humour

A ruby-encrusted orb popped its top and helicopter blades unfolded. Leo was glad Buford the table wasn't here-he would've fallen in love. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humour #leo-valdez #love

You dance?” “I think that might be overly optimistic,” he said. “I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #funny

Cut the crap and tell me what color panties you’re wearing. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#funny

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?" "Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth." "Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#funny #humour #funny

Misery, thy name is Mudslide ↗

— Molly Harper

#humour #paranormal-romance #funny

When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#ignorance

I suddenly realize that I'm naked, which shouldn't bother me since it's the phone, but for some reason it does. "How's it hanging?" Kyra asks and now I think I'm blushing. It's just an expression, but jeez! ↗

— Barry Lyga

#humour #nudity #self-consciousness #funny

I won't consider getting horizontal with someone I can barely tolerate when we're vertical. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#sex-humour #funny

I wash the clothes, rinse them and then scrub them again. Will that square little box do that? I am not using any fancy machines when my hands will do. ↗

— Renita D'Silva

#humour #india #indian #indian-fiction #women-s-fiction

...our witness, one Edward Littleton, was a gay as Elton John's handbag. ↗

— Ann Somerville

#funny #gay #homosexuality #humor #humour